Vita
by sammysmissingshoe
Summary: It wasn't random demons that came for Sam in that hotel bathroom: It was one Sam thought, hoped, he would never see again. Twist on the episode My Bloody Valentine.


Hola amigos! So this is my first requested fic and I'm really hoping not to disappoint them, or anyone else for that matter. This story was requested by davros fan, they gave me a really interesting storyline and I couldn't have done it without them. I currently have two other ideas buzzing around in my head so that's why I've been taking so long to get this one started. This story takes place during My Bloody Valentine with Sam alone in the hotel bathroom and takes a twist from there.

**Disclaimer:** I threw a Babylonian coin into a magic wishing well and wished to own Supernatural, but it didn't go over to well with the boys, so I own nothing once again.

* * *

"_Dean, where are you? I can't do this much longer. Please, Dean, hurry." _

The prayer was repeated on end, again and again. A prayer to rescue him from the agony spreading throughout him. It felt like a swarm of fire ants eating away his insides. Each imaginary bite sent a rush of heat through his veins.

Of course it wasn't his only thought. The hunger gnawed at him and seemed to erode his logic, and reason… and patience.

"_Are you kidding me, Dean? How long can it take to lob off some guy's finger? He's even in a freaking wheelchair for crying out loud!"_

He futilely tugged at the handcuffs that bound him to the sink's pipe. If he kept sweating at this rate, he might be able to slip right out of them soon enough.

Maybe it was due to the fever accompanied by cascades of sweat dribbling down his face, but hate worked its way into his thoughts as well.

"_I could've handled this on my own if you would've just given me what I needed! But no, you think you have to keep a leash on me, like some kind of animal._

"_Like some kind of _monster."

Logic was just about to creep back in to remind him that he had asked Dean to leave him like this, but a sudden creak caught his attention first. He ceased his struggles against his restraints, but the bombardment of stinging bites continued and weakened his thrashing.

"Guys?"

There was no answer besides the sound of the bookshelf barricade being shoved away. New beads of sweat glistened on his forehead, but he was pretty sure that it wasn't because of the fever this time.

"Guys, what happened?" No response.

"_If they're back, shouldn't this be over?" _

"I don't think it worked. I think I'm still-"

A figure stepped through the door. That definitely wasn't Dean. Sam blinked disbelievingly.

"Still… hungry."

The dark locks of hair fell into place over a face Sam thought he would never see again. Not that he should be surprised by seeing someone from his past at inconvenient times. His luck always worked like that.

Sam furrowed his brows as he tried to remember exactly where he had seen this woman before. Vague memories of the Siren case from last year flooded his mind. She had helped Sam figure some things out, but what else had gone down?

The woman eyed him and smiled at the handcuffs.

"Well, doesn't this bring back memories?"

"_Oh, right…"_

Sam remembered her now. "Doctor Cara?"

Cara smirked and brushed her hair out of her face and spoke. "Almost." Her coffee brown eyes flashed black.

A different kind of pain crept into Sam's gut: fear. Sam instantly sat up and he tried to back up against the wall. The handcuffs made their presence known as they clunked against the sink pipe.

He could feel his heart leap against his chest in anticipation of drinking the blood flowing through her body. No, he's not supposed to want it!

"C'mon, Sam, don't be like that. We spent so much time together when Dean was in Hell. Don't start acting shy now.

Sam swallowed, momentarily forgetting the starvation settling in his stomach.

"Ruby?"

* * *

Normal people wouldn't be in this situation. Normal people don't have angel friends too busy eating meat to remember their mission. They don't get captured by demons, and they most certainly don't hunt down one of the horse men of the apocalypse in order to chop their finger off.

Dean Winchester is not a normal person. Therefore he found himself in that exact situation. Friggin Winchester luck. And it doesn't count as Winchester luck until the bad guy starts monologuing.

"You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already dead." Famine hissed.

"_Enough with the friggin speech." _Dean thought bitterly as he rolled his eyes.

Using the support offered by the two demons holding him up, Dean lashed out with his feet. His foot made contact with a satisfying crunch from Famine's face. Normally, Dean would have felt guilty for kicking an old man, but considering his current predicament, he wasn't left with a whole lot of options.

Surprised at Dean's sudden outburst, one of the demons loosened its hold, not by much, but it was enough. With one side released, Dean swooped down and grabbed Ruby's knife.

He wrestled out of one of the demon's grip, and quickly shoved the blade through the other one's throat.

Dean turned his attention back to Famine, who now had blood leaking on to the tube from his nose.

Dean swung the knife and knew it met its mark when warm blood splattered onto his face. Famine screamed as the blade pressed down harder and didn't cease until his finger was chopped clean off.

Famine's other hench-demons hurried up to Dean and fought to hold him down.

Now released from Famine's spell, Castiel stood up, with the grease of the raw meat still dripping down his chin.

Castiel commanded, "Shut your eyes." His mouth was still full of meat, so he was barely able to string the words together. It would have been a comical sight if the situation weren't so dire.

Dean snapped his eyes shut, but he still felt the glow of Castiel's grace radiate through the room. Eyes still shut tight, he heard the demons he was battling with fall to the floor at Castiel's blast. The hum of angelic energy began to recede, and Dean opened his eyes again.

He took sight of the countless bodies spread out on the floor. Some had their eyes burned out, and some had been completely incinerated.

"Thanks, Cas." Dean's voice was still strained to Famine's little peek the "deep dark nothing" inside of him. "You okay?" Dean asked.

Castiel gave a short nod and lifted a hand to wipe away the remains of meat on his face. He swallowed to remaining food in his mouth and spoke. "We should get back to the hotel. Tell Sam that it is over."

Dean nodded in agreement. "He could probably use some good news right about now."

Castiel started to reach for Dean's head to transport them back, but Dean retracted.

"Cas, we've talked about this."

Castiel pulled his hand back and made an apologetic face.

"I'll just take the Impala and meet you there, okay?"

The last word was unheard by Castiel, who vanished before Dean had finished his sentence.

Sighing, Dean made his way back to his baby. He slid behind the wheel followed by the comfortingly familiar squeak of the Impala's door. Dean started up the car and let a small smile creep onto his face. He shot a glance to the empty seat next to him.

"Don't worry, Sammy. You'll be riding shotgun again real soon. It's over."

Dean drove on, enjoying the temporary silence.

"Dean." The sudden voice made Dean nearly lose control of the wheel. No matter how many times it happened, angels randomly popping up in your backseat never got less startling.

"Geez, Cas!" Dean grumbled as he regained control. "What?"

"I went back to the hotel."

There was silence as Dean waited for him to continue. "And?"

Castiel met Dean's eyes. "It's Sam, Dean. He's gone."

* * *

"Y-you can't… be here…" Sam sputtered out. "You're- you're dead."

"Sam," Ruby said sweetly as she slid in beside him on the bed he was well restrained to. "I told you back at that convent. Lucifer's gonna repay you in ways you couldn't even imagine." With a sneaky grin she added, "Don't tell me you haven't ever imagined me coming back. That hurts my feelings."

"H-how are you back?"

Ruby started to brush a strand of hair from his face, which now had steady drops of sweat running down. "Death is currently Lucifer's puppet, it wasn't too hard for him to pull the strings."

Sam shook his head to try and clear it. _"No, Dean- Dean killed her." "But it makes sense for her to come back. When has anything every stayed dead around me?" "Besides the people I actually love anyway." _That thought hurt. It hurt more than the ever expanding hunger creating a hole inside him.

"Sammy, you can deny it all you want, but I'm right here in front of you, and no amount of hoping is gonna change that."

Where was rational thought when he needed it? Forget that, where was Dean? And where exactly is Sam? The only thing Sam could see was the ceiling above the bed his hands were tied to. Luckily his feet were free, but the hunger induced fever didn't leave him enough strength to accomplish anything.

Weakly, Sam turned his head away. He felt a soothingly cool hand trace his cheek. He swore he could hear the blood rushing through her veins.

"You want a drink?"

Sam couldn't help it when his head snapped back in her direction. His mouth began water in anticipation. What small shred of dignity he had left was relieved that no one else had to see him like this.

Ruby reached down to her boot and took out a small knife. The gleam of the silver blade was soon masked by rivets of, ironically, ruby red blood. She held her now bleeding arm over Sam's mouth.

Sam leapt up as far as he could with the restraints in place. The irresistible liquid finally fell into place into his mouth in small drops. The small relief was like finding a tiny, murky puddle of water after days of wandering the desert; refreshing, but not enough.

Sam was fully aware of how pathetic he looked when Ruby pulled her hand away. His eyes stayed on the bleeding arm as it retracted. He could feel his mouth quiver and short pants left his lips as his addiction was ripped away from him again.

"You know what they say," Ruby said casually. "Always leave 'em wanting more."

"Please." Sam's voice quaked with the one worded plea.

Ruby placed a gentle hand on his cheek. She leaned in and laid a small kiss to his forehead. The gesture used to be such a comfort to him, now it taunted him, but Sam couldn't help but feel a pang of relief at the soothing touch of her soft lips.

"If you're a good boy, you can have more later. While we're waiting…" She slowly turned Sam's head towards her own. "Anything else you might want from me?"

Sam meant to roll his eyes, but his whole head ended up turning away from her.

"C'mon, Sam. I know you were interested in this body at one point, I chose it for a reason."

Sam let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, maybe when it was actually her in there."

"Sammy, this way, it's like a two for one deal."

"Just leave me alone." Sam choked out. He didn't really mean it though. After the last drop of blood had trickled down his throat, gosh, he _needed _more. His hunger was pleading for her to stay, but his heart was trying to tell him to fight for something. No, some-one? D-De-

The thought was interrupted when a spark of pain shot through him. His back arched up from the bed as the short relief the blood offered him had begun to fade. He struggled to pull in a breath.

"It's okay, Sam." Ruby's voice dripped with sweetness. She stroked his forehead as his muscles seized beneath her. "Just close your eyes, and it'll go away."

He shouldn't have been able to relax the way his muscles were contracting, but exhaustion finally claimed him, and he sank into oblivion.

* * *

"What do you mean 'gone?'" Dean asked as he tried to hide his panic.

"I mean he is no longer at the hotel. Dean, there are signs of a demon."

Dean heard his own voice shake. "Great, that's just great. That's exactly what I need right now!" He wished there was something for him to punch. Well, there was Cas, but that probably wouldn't end too well for him.

"Dean, we will find him."

"Where do we start?" Dean asked, ignoring Castiel's attempt to comfort him.

"Since I am no longer able to track him, perhaps you could try his phone."

_"Duh!" _Dean mentally scolded himself. _"If you were thinking clearly right now, you could have thought of that." _

Dean pressed down on the gas in a small rush of panic. _"Calm down." _He ordered. _"This happens a hell of a lot more than it should, but you're gonna find him. You always do." _

The Impala had barely jerked to a stop when Dean pulled into the hotel parking lot and flew his door open. Being gentle with his baby was not at the top of his list when his baby brother was missing.

Pulling his usual bull-crap story, Dean managed to get Sam's location from the GPS people.

Whether he was forgetting the fact that Castiel was right beside him, or ignoring it, Dean promised out loud, "Don't worry, Sammy. I'm coming."

* * *

Tremors. That was the first thing Sam felt when he awoke. His whole body shook like a hypothermia victim.

_"Blood, blood, feed me, blood, now, blood, the power, blood…" _On and on, his hunger made sure Sam remembered it was around.

Every fibre of his being kept wishing, _pleading, needing, _for Ruby to come sauntering back into the room and satisfy his lust for blood.

His wrists were raw from rubbing against his restraints. Sometimes he couldn't help how his body fought against them. He would see a silhouette outside the door and he swore he could smell Ruby's blood. He bucked against what held him to the bed in an animalistic rage to get what he wanted, _needed, craved_.

The next time the shadow appeared outside the door, it stepped inside.

Sam lurched forward as far as he could, as his muscles tensed in anticipation. _"Blood, blood, so close, blood, almost, blood, now, blood."_

"Hungry?" It wasn't really a question. Sam nodded frantically with heavy gasps leaving his gaping mouth.

Ruby smirked as she retrieved her small knife. She steadied the blade below the first cut she had made, and allowed the knife to do its job.

She watched Sam snap his jaw towards her bleeding arm. This was going exactly the way she wanted. Sam in the palm of her hand, and all it was costing her was a few drops of blood.

With him craving demon blood again, she could tell that he would do anything, _anything, _to get more, even say yes to Lucifer. Her father would be so proud of her.

Ever since he brought her back, she had been waiting to please him. What could possibly make him happier than giving him his true vessel? No doubt she would have a huge reward coming her way.

Just as she was about to let a few drops of blood fall into Sam's mouth, there was a loud crash outside.

Ruby shot up from the bed, ignoring Sam's pathetic whine as she pulled away from him.

The door swung open with a loud crack as it hit the wall. The figure standing the doorway had shoulders heaving, undoubtedly from fury.

"Dean." Ruby stated. "You look upset."

"Get the hell away from my brother." It was a command. He didn't shout it, but his calm tone had a menace that scared even Ruby.

"Or what?" She challenged. "You gonna kill me again?"

"'Again?'"

"Oh, right." Ruby rolled her eyes. "New meatsuit. Makes it harder to recognize the person you stabbed in a convent."

Dean couldn't help the way his eyes widened a bit. "Ruby?"

"Wow." Ruby praised sarcastically. "And they say Sammy here was the smart one." She ran her uncut hand over Sam's forehead. She glanced back to Dean and inwardly smiled at his small twitch as she touched his baby brother. "Have you missed me?"

That Dean smirk came back. "Yeah actually. I was just thinking, that that Ruby bitch got off too easy last time. Killed her way quick. Guess this means I get another shot to do it right."

Ruby didn't miss the gleam of the knife that had once belonged to her.

"Really think you can get close enough to use it?" She teased.

Dean's smile grew. "Don't have to."

There was a rustle of wings from behind her and Ruby whipped her head to see that trench-coated pain in the ass closing in on her.

Ruby wasn't stupid. She could see where this was headed so she tipped her vessel's head back and let herself leave it in a wisp of black smoke.

_"Next time, Sammy." _

* * *

"NO!" Sam shouted as he saw Ruby smoke out of her meatsuit. He needed her, she was his only source of blood in the room. There were two other figures, but he didn't give a damn about them!

"Sammy!" One of the figures rushed towards him. He felt a big hand rest on his cheek, and he flinched away from it. "Sam, it's me. C'mon little brother, look at me."

_"Little brother? Is it really…" _"Dean?"

Sam saw a smile across the figure's, _Dean's, maybe? _face. "Yeah, it's me." Sam heard a sigh. "God, what did she do to you?"

_"She? She who? Ruby? Oh, Ruby. The blood. Oh, God the blood!" _Sam's breaths increased and his eyes began darting around in a frantic search for her.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down, Sam." Dean attempted to comfort him. "She's gone now."

"No!" Sam snapped. "No, she can't be gone! I need her!"

"Dean," Came the deep voice from the other figure. Cas? "I'm sorry, but… there is demon blood inside of him right now."

There was another sigh, longer and more full of pain than the last one. A small curse was muttered under Dean's breath.

Panic had started to set in for Sam. The hunger for the blood had gotten too strong again, and his limbs began to flail wildly.

"Sammy!" Dean turned his head. "Dammit, Cas, what the hell do we do?"

Suddenly Sam saw a hand reaching for his head.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Cas's voice was the last thing Sam heard before it all went black.

* * *

How many times does Sam have to wake up like this? It seems like half the times he opens his eyes, it's either a gun being pointed at his head, or tied down. Why shouldn't today be different? This place however was definitely the worst place to wake up in.

Bobby's panic room.

And with no hope of escaping, handcuffed to the bed. If he was himself, he'd make some smartass comment about how he had literally just gotten out of that situation.

Seeing how he wasn't himself, he was scared out of his mind. This place didn't have the most pleasant memories associated with it. He was sure that the memories that follow his time in here again wouldn't be any better.

The hallucinations hadn't even started yet, but Sam didn't want to wait that long. "Dean, please! Don't leave me in here!"

"Dean's not coming for you, Sammy." The deep mocking voice sounded so familiar. "Just you and me now."

Sam dared to turn towards the voice. It didn't take long for him to regret it.

Gordon, and he looked a hell of a lot worse than Sam ever remembered. His head seemed somehow, off. It could be due to the sloppily applied stitches that littered his neck were seemingly the only thing keeping his head attached, but it's just a guess.

The cold, and uncaring eyes were bloodshot beyond explanation, and staring at Sam with the most disgusted expression.

"Sorry if I look a little under the weather, Sammy. I got you to thank for all this though. 'Member that?"

Sam swallowed. Of course he remembered. Hard to forget decapitating someone with barbed wire.

"We're not here to talk about me though." He crouched down beside Sam. His casual voice was somehow more terrifying than if he was angry. "I was right, you know."

Sam couldn't help it, he had to ask. "About what?"

The bored expression never left Gordon's face. "You."

Cliché, but Sam felt the sting of the harsh word nonetheless.

"Honestly, Sammy, I knew you were a monster. I mean," Gordon held his arms out. "Look at what you've gotten yourself into. This whole mess is on you, Sam."

"No, I- it wasn't my fault!" Sam tried to reason.

Gordon chuckled, and it sent chills down Sam's body, despite the fact that he was feverishly sweating. "You chose to drink demon blood. I used to think fangs were bad, but you, you really take the cake on this one, Sammy. You had the choice to stop, but did you?"

Sam felt himself sag down on the bed and close his eyes in defeat.

"Thought so. Your blood is tainted. Way I see it, I'm doing you a favor by getting rid of it."

Sam's eyes shot open. "Wh-what?" Gordon produced his fangs and they made their path to Sam's neck. "DEAN!"

* * *

Hearing Sam screaming for him was always an unbearable agony for Dean, but it was unimaginably worse knowing that he was the cause of Sam's pain.

Sam was dealing with demons, literal or figurative, Dean wasn't sure, that he couldn't hope to understand. When it had finally gotten to the point where Sam was crying out for his brother, and pleading with whatever nightmare he was facing to leave him alone, Dean just couldn't stand it anymore.

Turning his back on his brother hurt Dean more than he could ever describe, but he couldn't bear listening to Sam call for him any longer, because sooner or later, he knew he would give in.

_"I'm such a coward. Sammy's going through hell right now and here I am running away from it all. This better be over soon…"_

* * *

_"How am I alive right now?" _Sam questioned as he began to come back to himself. He had felt Gordon's fangs plunge into his skin, and drain more blood than any human could possibly endure.

_"Wait, Gor-Gordon's dead, isn't he? He couldn't come back. I-I think…."_

"He is, Sam. Gordon wasn't real." A deep voice assured him. Nothing about it sounded recognizable.

Sam cracked his eyes open, unsure of what he would see this time. Sam was in awe at the sight before him.

A monstrous, yet beautiful creature towered over him. It was some kind of dragon, seemingly far too big to fit inside such a small room. Its majesty seemed so out of place somewhere so dingy and insignificant. Scales glistened like silver in the moonlight.

Wings tucked behind the creature, had colours bright and fierce as a flame, and when they spread out, it felt like a real fire was in the room. They were magnificently beautiful, but looked fragile and soft to the touch, like a moth's wings.

Seven heads sprouted from its shimmering body, each one keeping its focus on Sam. Gold glinted off each head, a gleaming crown on each one. Piercing blue eyes stared into him, but Sam didn't feel that he should be frightened. There was something that looked like sympathy gleaming in the creature's eyes.

"What-what are you?" Sam gathered enough courage to ask.

It answered with a voice strong enough to make the room shake, bit it was still so soothing at the same time. "We've already met, Sam. My previous vessel didn't seem to appeal to you."

Realization hit Sam like a sideline on a football field. "Lu- Lucifer…"

The creature nodded. "I decided to show you my form in all my glory. Imagine all this power at your disposal." The dragon explained. "You'd never have to drink demon blood to feel all that power ever again. It could all be yours to control without having to lift a finger. Just say 'yes', Sam."

Gosh that sounded wonderful. Being judged by angels and humans alike would be a thing of the past. He wouldn't have to be tainted any longer. The power running through him wouldn't be evil. He could almost feel the angelic grace running through him but-

Dean. Dean wouldn't want him to do this.

"No."

Lucifer let out a disappointed sigh. "Okay, Sam. I could have taken you away from this nightmare, but I see that you are not yet ready to accept me. Soon though, Sammy. Soon." And just like that, he was gone.

Once he vanished, Sam felt strangely alone, and venerable again. As odd as it sounded, Lucifer was probably the least horrible illusion his subconscious could drum up.

Image after image, past faces after past faces appeared to taunt him, scold him, torture him, it didn't matter, they all hurt.

Hours passed before it all just stopped. A wave of peace finally washed over, something Sam thought he'd never feel again.

He turned his head at the sound of muffled voices on the other side of the door. There was a pause, and then the sound of the door creaking open.

_"Please don't let this be another hallucination." _Sam begged as his brother approached him, without a blade this time.

"Sammy? How you feeling?"

Sam tried to choke out an answer, but being deprived of water for so long, it caused it to come out in a fit of small coughs.

He managed to compose himself enough to give an answer. "I- I think I'm okay now."

Dean gave him a tired smile. "That's what Cas says. He said it should be over. You think you're good? And don't lie to me."

Sam nodded hastily. "I promise, I'm okay."

His brother's smile grew and became more sincere. "Alright, buddy. I'm gonna get you out of those." Dean said as he gestured to the handcuffs.

A breath of relief left Sam's mouth. Finally, this nightmare could be over.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

Sam closed his eyes and swallowed. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to-"

"I know." Dean didn't make him finish. "Let's just forget it, okay?"

Never had Sam wanted to hear those words so badly. "Okay. Let's forget it."

* * *

Well, that was quite an adventure. Thanks again to davros fan, I couldn't have done it without you. And yes, I know I'm leaving the Ruby problem unsolved, but davros fan didn't want her killed off, so i respected their wishes. I'd love to know what y'all thought! Carry on my wayward sons!


End file.
